Category Archives: Caliborn

Your name is CALIBORN OPHEE. You took this job going into SKYRIM to fetch your father TWO IDENTICAL SORD…S after one of your SISTER’S COY SHENANIGANS with a TIME TRAVEL SPELL. You are an EXPERT of ALL THINGS DRAGONS, or at least that’s what you claim to be. You thought they were just all legends…UNTIL NOW. Turns out you’re a DRAGONBORN and now you’re being called upon to save the world from ALDUIN THE WORLD EATER’S UNKNOWN PLANS. Although, you think that right now that YOU MAY BE THE ONLY ONE in Skyrim to know that it was ALDUIN that razed HELGEN KEEP. You heavily favor TWIN SWORDS, although you think that HEAVY-HANDED SWORDS AND HAMMERS might just be a bit more your style. Also- don’t tell anyone this….But you SUCK at archery.

A Broken Dovah’s Mind – Prologue


What happens when you Hold onto a Dragon by the Handle as it Breaks.


You know what, Sis, I get it. You and your Journals. UGH. I stand corrected.

This is normally SO not my thing but you know what? Time is so COM-FREAKING-PLEATLY SCREWED UP that I’m loosing track of my own sanity and I need to keep things written down or else I’m going to go insane.

Hi. To anyone unlucky enough to read this thing in a sane, chronological order, my name is CALIBORN. I am the LAST DRAGONBORN OF LEGEND, sworn to duty to fight Alduin YADEYADEYADA. And I have had the most UNFORTUNATE FATE of having held on handle first to the Staff of Magnus while those idiot PSIJICS tried to take the Eye Of Magnus somewhere ‘safe.’

Well, guess what, Psijic asses, if you happen to ever read this?


No, not Alduin, although that would be VERY NICE TO NOT HAVE TO DEAL WITH.

What I mean is you idiots caused a freaking DRAGON BREAK.


I mean, come ON!? Who the hell even DOES something like that!?

You idiots couldn’t have waited FIVE MINUTES for me to catch my breath and let me tell you that the Eye was so Unstable that I was TELEPORTING AROUND TAMIREL through TIME AND SPACE while Fighting that idiot Thalmor Pain-in-the-Ancano!? NOOO! Of COURSE NOT.

Idiots, the lot of

The hell is this? This is my handwriting but it cuts off in the middle of this sentence? Oh, wonderful, a Journal I’ve been FORCED TO WRITE IN to maintain a causality loop.

Damn it all.

What, did I get cut off in the middle of writing that sentence or something? What the hell is with the sudden cut off point??

Given how messed UP everything is, I wouldn’t be surprised.

Hmm… a journal to keep track of everything might not be such a bad idea, I guess? I’ll have to think about it.


…And wouldn’t you know it, THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED? I was literally in the middle of writing this entry and BAM. TIME SKIP to somewhere else. Oh, come on, there are more entries after this one??? Gaaaah. Really, Callie. This is what happens when you force me to write a journal!! Somehow I’ve made it INCREDIBLY EVEN HARDER FOR ME TO DO THIS JOB RIGHT!!!

Hrm, okay, that seems like enough of a gap for where the ‘first’ entry and where I think the second should end before I start writing the third? Even if I managed to give myself a really tiny slot to write in. Ugh. I’ll squeeze it in somewhere I guess. Stupid, freaking, time.

So. Uh. Right. Where was I?

Okay, right, Narrating down my thoughts as to what I did and where and what the hell is going on.

So, let’s see here…

I got a glowing lava sword from the Aetherium forge- somehow- and it explodes things when I swing it. I’ve also wound up at Labryinthian and gotten my hands on a SUPER TUSKED DRAGON PRIEST MASK! I don’t even remember collecting the eight other masks, really- or atleast, not Eight SPECIFICALLY?? Maybe I did. Ugh, I can’t even remember what I was doing BEFORE this Dragonbreak started, let alone what I’ve ‘done’ in the gaps between my apparently linear train of thought across time and space and who knows what else.

Also, there’s some shit that I’ve apparently neglected to do and yet have somehow already done ages ago regarding collecting people for an expedition to WYRMSTOOTH and also apparently

I can’t remember. Whatever. It’ll come to me.

Can I just say, I HATE the Psijic Monks for this? Not only that, but GOOD JOB, THALMOR, for breaking time in the first place. I just… I hate you both so equally it’s not even FUNNY.

Just. UGH. Why is nothing ever EASY??


Hey! Way Distant Past Me! Or, well, future past me? Whatever.

Look, anyways. ALDUIN. Get on his case. Yes, yes, I know, screw Delphine and her insane demands, but you know what? She doesn’t believe us when we tell her about the Dragonbreak anyways.

There’s PROPHECY involved in all of this, and a prophecy involving an ELDER SCROLL at that!

Oh, and by the way, Night Mother says there’s this guy in Kynesgrove wanting to take out a contract. We’re gonna have to do this weird loopy thing though considering that you don’t get the contract to kill the target until just before I write this entry and that’s AFTER I’ve already done it because I read this entry.

Freaking. Dragonbreaks. I know.

Anyways, I’d normally not push this on you, but there’s some important SHIT this target has in his house. STUFF WRITTEN TO US FROM CALLIE, that, somehow, is dated from the SECOND ERA. I don’t get it, or how she managed to get it to us, but it did solve one little mystery regarding who the hell stole our TARDIS earlier. You know, the guy who hit us over the head and threw us over a waterfall? The guy who also sent us a creepy talking letter telling us to go to Hags End or some crazy named place like that?

I won’t spoil the surprise, but needless to say, this Dragonbreak has apparently been a thing that’s been swirling around us since BEFORE WE WERE EVEN BORN. Go figure.
So, right, Target. Name’s RODNEY LEBLANC, Breton, with the absolutely INSANE misconception that he’s a Khajiit. I know you will anyways because ‘curiosity skinned the cat’ and what not, but you know what? DO NOT READ HIS JOURNAL. Your sanity will be spared. Just, trust me on that?

Anyways, you can find him holled up in a small cave near the Rift/Stonefalls border. You’ll know the place because it’s got a freaking giant Khajiiti Idol Statue carved out of a nearby boulder sitting infront of it. Can’t miss it, I know I didn’t.

…I have no idea what to make of that. Alright. Fine. If it’s a legit DB contract, sure.


On my way there, I’ve been detoured no less than SIX TIMES so far by this Dragon’s heart skipping a beat and basically going into “cardiac arrest”- no, past me reading this, you don’t know what that means yet, but make sure to ask the healer in Whiterun when you do that Nettlebane quest for her. Why? SPOILERS.

Anyways. Uh.

What else have I done? It’s so hard to keep track anymore. This Journal is BARELY HELPING, because my entries are being written out of order. How the hell is that even POSSIBLE? It’s giving me a headache. I’ve killed a few dragons? And also apparently at some point I haven’t gotten to yet, it seems I’ve joined the Empire and fought a few keep Battles??

Does it even MATTER at this point? What even is the point? Time is so broken right now I swear last night I think I crossed paths with myself, except, it was a me who wasn’t a Dragonborn? I don’t even know. At any rate, saved myself from a Dragon attack outside Dawnstar. Whee. Fun. Other me looked so freaking lost. Like I’m any better off??

Oh. I ran into the Companions of Whiterun too at some point. I teleported somehow into the same Silver Hand place they were hitting for reasons that became apparent.

Apparently they’re Werewolves. Go figure. Never would have guessed. Except I think the only reason they were so open about it was the fact that I had some Shards of their MYTHIC AXE OF RAD WUUTHS in my bag, and already apparently knew when I got the mission from them to hunt down these shards?

Whatever. I have no ability to care at the moment for whatever insane instabilities this Dragonbreak is throwing my way, with regards to cause and effect.

What the hell, Callie.


HOW did this Khajiiti wannabe get his hands on a chest engraved with DAD’S SHOP’S SEAL on it by means of UNEARTHING IT FROM A FREAKING CAVE WALL that was last used in the SECOND ERA??

I don’t even want to know.

No. I’m just- I’m going to rewrite the letter here so I don’t lose the original copy somehow.

Pardon my atrocious handwriting, Sis.

Dear Caliborn,

If you’re reading this then my calculations were correct and this letter should be reaching you sometime in the FOURTH ERA when you yourself are Dragonborn, and Aventus has successfully borrowed your Time Machine to hide this note away. Yes, THAT Aventus. The now-not-so-little-boy who got you, and conversely me, embroiled within the Dark Brotherhood. He’s from my iteration of events and not yours, if you were curious.

You’re likely either caught up in the middle of a Dragonbreak right now, or soon about to be, as I have no way of knowing when you’ll get this letter other than that you WILL get this letter…. if you do, I mean. Chances are you might never stumble upon this and it will all be for naught. In some world, I’m sure you didn’t. But I’m hoping that the iteration of you I need for this plan gets your hands on this letter and accepts this mission.

And that mission, dear Brother, is to Defeat Alduin to complete the Dragonbreak, and then make your way to Hag’s End. (Yes, I hear you’ve had to been told this A LOT. Time has a funny way of keeping you away from it until you’re ready, hm?) Once there, you will receive your next mission/assignment.

I wish I could tell you more now, but I don’t know where in history this note will be discovered. I have to be vague until I’m POSITIVE you’re actually recieving this information.

With love,



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Posted by on March 13, 2018 in Caliborn, Dragonbreak


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In Today’s Episode, Caliborn confronts a man about his gambling problems.

After several days of trying to upload stuff, it’s finally uploaded!!! (If being slow in processing.)

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Posted by on April 28, 2016 in Caliborn, Skyrim


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In Today’s Episode, Caliborn checks out a delayed Lumber Order.


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Posted by on April 20, 2016 in Caliborn, Skyrim


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In Today’s Episode, Caliborn returns to a place he was once thrown over a waterfall.

In other news: Homestuck has ended.

I’m not completely sure how to respond to that. XD

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Posted by on April 13, 2016 in Caliborn, Skyrim


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In Today’s Episode, Caliborn fights a dragon and tries out a new shout… that he doesn’t remember collecting.

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Posted by on April 6, 2016 in Caliborn, Skyrim


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In Today’s Episode, Caliborn tries his best in getting to the Aetherium Forge… The Universe Fails to Comply. (Literally, Skyrim’s scripting engine refused to run the Forge quest properly. What you see is the result of hours of trying to get it to work, if only barely.) [Also, I had to upload this episode twice, that was how much the universe hated this quest.]


Posted by on March 30, 2016 in Caliborn, Dragonbreak, Skyrim


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In Today’s Episode, Caliborn follows the trail of some rampaging Vampires

OOC NOTE: It is snowing a blizzard today. Freaking A, Universe. Freaking A. Just what I needed for this week. >_<;

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Posted by on March 23, 2016 in Caliborn, Skyrim


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